You know, a lot of very hurtful feelings rip through your mind and soul when you're forced to break it off with someone you love. Sadness, depression, anxiety, and shear pain are a constant reminder of the loss you've suffered. 'How to get your ex boyfriend back today' is a thought that constantly runs through your head.
A great number of books, blog sites, forums, educational courses and of course Internet website are designed specifically to help you in dealing with that issue, the issue of getting your ex boyfriend back immediately. Using common sense can make all the difference after a serious breakup or even a minor one. And being courteous and kind will go a very long way in helping to heal your relationship.
When you're continually plagued by thinking 'what can I do to get my ex back now', you should just follow some very simple advice at first. This will aide you in creating the very best opportunity to resolve your outstanding issues and bring your loved one back to you to once again be that someone special who is so important in your life.
You should never try to out-smart your ex, by playing silly mind games or attempting to interfere with their daily life. Listen carefully now, because the next thing I say is extremely important for you to hear and understand. It's terribly unfortunate that so many people resort to scare tactics and rash actions just to give themselves a temporary sense of power over their missing loved one during a breakup. By making your ex believe you don't care, or that you do care more than you know you truly do, you're doing nothing more than attempting to manipulate them just in order to feel better about yourself. While you may indeed feel better for a while this feeling won't last, and in the end you'll be left with nothing but empty promises and dreams of a relationship that never was true and never will be.
Attempting to deceive your ex by lying or tricking them in some fashion will not leave you feeling good about yourself, in fact far from it. Even if something that appears good does come from that course of action it was always be tainted because of the basis for its creation.
I often see situations where individuals pretend to be dating someone else after their ex has left them, or even pretend to be in love with another person. This attempt to make your ex jealous may, on a rare occasion, be met with some success, but most often it will backfire making your breakup permanent.
Sure it's possible that your ex might be jealous enough to take you back or they might decide that you've moved on rapidly, that you don't really care anymore, and so decide it's finally over. The problem is you have no possible way to predict the outcome until the deed is done and there's no going back.
Anger and pettiness only breed resentment, don't be abusive or mean to your ex. This is true no matter what kind of relationship you're in. Anger often makes people act rashly and foolishly, even viciously. Whether you're feeling hurt or not, isn't the real question, "How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Today"? You need to show that you're ready to forgive the perceived injustices; if you can't do that, do you really want your ex back? Wouldn't you rather know it's finally over in that case?
Think about your actions and how you're acting. If you could be your ex, would you really want to be around a person like you are now? Would you want to spend time together or would you be dreading confrontation and avoiding getting anywhere near you? Don't nag or shout, despite feeling like you need to argue your position. You just can't do that, not if you want to succeed. Do you absolute best to control your temper and your pain, just try to be a person your ex will miss.
"What should you do to get my ex back?" Always be on you very best behavior. Try to help your ex to remember those things that originally brought you together. Then they will begin to remember the good time and start to miss you. Then you have a real chance of being to put this all behind you and start fresh, together with your ex.
I have a lot more things you need to know, about winning back your ex. Those items I've outlined above are only the basic and initial ones. I used these very same steps and ideas to win back my ex. Personally one of them are original, they've actually been around for a long time, but unfortunately they just aren't the ones you normally think of in this situation.
When the only man you can ever love tells you he wants to end the relationship, it is devastating. As you watch him walk away you see all of your dreams of a happy future going with him. You want to scream, cry and run after him. You need to make him see that you love him and need him. The reason you are having these feeling is because he has just triggered your emotional buttons. What most women fail to realize in this situation is that he has emotional buttons also. If you learn how to use male psychology to push his hot buttons, it will make getting your ex boyfriend back easy.
Male psychology is not some mysterious trick or spell. It is simply understanding how a man thinks and using it to your advantage. It is also no mystery that men and women react differently to the same situation. That includes a breakup. You feel that if the two of you could just sit down and talk, you could work things out. He just wants to be left alone to think and sort things out. This is why you will cause yourself more pain and humiliation, if you try to force him to communicate at this time. When you go chasing after him screaming you cannot live without him, you are pushing his wrong emotional button.
You need to start pushing his hot buttons if you want to make getting your ex boyfriend back easy. Start by ignoring him and have no contact with him at all. Drop off his radar screen for at least a month. Occupy yourself with things you like to do. Visit relatives you have neglected. You will be surprised at how glad they are to see you and this will be a big lift to your spirits. Do some community work or take some night classes to improve your job skills. Get a makeover at a good salon and shop for some new clothes. Then go out with your girlfriends and have some fun. All of these things will help get you back to thinking straight, but they will also be pushing your ex boyfriends hot buttons.
When he broke up with you, he was expecting you to do everything in your power to get him back. By ignoring him and moving on with your life, you are making him wonder if you still love him. The more he thinks of how you seem to be living your life just fine without him, the more he wonders if he can live his without you. This is causing him to feel that he was the one rejected. That is another of his hot buttons. Men cannot stand to be rejected, it is too big a blow to their ego. This cause him to fear that he might have lost you forever and he will move heaven and earth to get you back. That is how to use male psychology to make getting your ex boyfriend back easy.
Many times I talk to people who ask the questions: "Why can’t I find a good man/woman?" " Why do I keep making the same mistakes in my relationships?"
When you are in between relationships, there is much introspective work to do. Without taking the time time to look at yourself, you are often in the position of repeating the same patterns over and over again.
1. Get very clear about who you want for your life partner. It is helpful to write an actual list. Because of the way the Law of Attraction works, you want to make sure you record the traits, qualities and characteristics of the person you want to attract into your life. Be very careful you aren’t recording the things you don’t want. Whenever you focus on things you don’t want, the Universe actually brings you more of the same, which explains why some of the same patterns are repeated over and over again.
Think about physical, intellectual, emotional, financial, relationship and spiritual characteristics you want in your soulmate. Divide your list into three categories. One is non-negotiable you won’t live without. Another is important characteristics you definitely want in your soulmate and third are those "nice to have" items. They would be nice to have but you would be willing to compromise on them.
2. Take a close look in the mirror, asking the question, “Am I being the person who would attract my desired soulmate into my life”? Often you know what you want in your life but don’t take the time to determine if you are the person your soulmate would be attracted to. You may be seeking someone trustworthy but you are seeing other people behind his or her back. You may want someone mature who doesn’t bring a lot of drama, yet you have drama all around you.
3. Dig deeper into your subconscious awareness. On the outside, you may appear to be the person who will attract your soulmate, however, when you look deeper you realize you have some subconscious beliefs that prevent you from connecting with the person of your dreams. You may believe that deep down at your base level, there is something wrong with you and you don’t deserve to be happy in a relationship. Perhaps someone you care deeply for doesn’t have a happy relationship in their life and you don’t want them to feel bad if you find one for yourself. You may believe you will lose yourself in a relationship. You may think if you open yourself up to real love, you will do something to ruin it and have to suffer the pain of it ending.
There may be many of these subconscious beliefs that get in the way of you manifesting the person you want in your life. One way to access that subconscious information is to ask the question, “What would I have to give up to have the relationship I want”? Allow yourself to ponder this question while going deeper into your subconscious for the answer. As long as the information remains subconscious, you can’t counterbalance it with helpful beliefs. It must be brought into the light.
The fourth step of this process is to honestly and accurately evaluate whether your actions, thoughts, and feelings are consistent with attracting the soulmate you want. If your answer is yes, then you can proceed to Step Five. If your answer is no, then move to Step Four.
4. Reinvent yourself. Make a plan and following it about what you need to change to become the person your soulmate will choose to share his or her life with. This can involve changing things you do as well as the harmful things you think.
5. Believe it is going to happen. Once you have done the work to get clear about what you want and then transformed yourself into the person who will attract that person, simply rest in the knowledge that it’s just a matter of time. Your soulmate is on his or way into your life. Know that you are perfectly content and complete while you are patiently waiting.
Remember, while you wait, your soulmate may be doing his or her own assessment and evaluation of whether he or she can attract you.
The thought of having personal magnetism and personal charisma is often based on having an attracting energy that flows through your body and mind. While that is certainly true, there are other aspects to it.
Many people think you are either born with it or you are not. It is not a matter of you either have it or you don't. We can all start at the beginning and develop it, if it is not one of our strong traits.
It starts with your thoughts and feelings, first about yourself and then about others. If you have low self esteem or a lot of issues, you are not going to portray personal magnetism.
Having a strong presence is about how you are perceived by others. How you treat them is going to influence them greatly. Especially when you first meet.
So let's talk about how you can genuinely influence people for the better and have them think of you as a powerful and charming person.
Tips For Positively Influencing People
1. When you meet with someone new, act as if you are meeting a friend. That will help you be comfortable and operate from your true self, rather than putting on a front. Don't be overly friendly but be interested in what they have to say, and let them do most of the talking.
2. Body language says a great deal. Learn more about body language. Crossing your arms or your legs would mean that you are closed to the person or situation. Look people in the eyes when speaking, but don't come across as staring at them. Looking them in the eyes shows you have nothing to hide and are not avoiding them.
3. Be positive. No one likes to be around a negative person. Don't be pessimistic, on the opposite end, don't come across with a too positive, Pollyanna attitude. Being positive and happy makes you an attractive person, it endears you to other people.
4. Work on good posture. Keep your body posture straight, don't slouch. This will help you look more powerful, creating a good impression.
5. Help people when you can. Do they not know how to do something you do? They would appreciate your help. However, don't take on too many tasks at the same time and know when to say no. Helping people helps you feel good about yourself, building your sense of power and worth. And certainly others feel good about you when you help and were not expected to.
Bonus Tip: Take a memory course. Why? People love it when you remember their name and a little about your last conversation the next time you meet. Look into Mnemonics techniques. Or see names as pictures, to aid memory. For example my name is Jeannie Crabtree. With word pictures it could be jeans with a torn knee and a red crab hanging from a tree. Jean Knee Crab Tree.
The bottom line is to do what you can to genuinely make a good impression without manipulating people. It is a win win situation. You will attract people to you and feel good about yourself. Personal Magnetism is developed along the way.
Many times, guys don't realize how serious something is until the thing that they do not want to happen DOES. When it comes to a breakup, usually this means that your ex girlfriend is now dating someone else. So, the common question becomes, can I get her back even when she is dating someone else?
And to be honest with you, there is no one size fits all answer to this kind of a situation.
One thing that you want to be careful of is whether or not you want her back simply because you cannot have her now. For some reason, it's just the way that we are wired as humans, we always have a desire for things that are off limits. So, you want to get in touch with an honest answer of whether you would want her back if she wasn't with someone else.
If your answer is NO, that you would not want to be back with her if she was not dating someone else, then MOVE ON!
Assuming that this is not the case and that you still would want to get back with her, you have to get in touch with the selfless part of you and ask, is she happy with this new person? If that is the case, then you might want to just meet a new girl. However, if you truly believe that she is not happy, or that she could be happier with you, and you still want to give it a go, it is POSSIBLE to get her back. Make sure that you notice I said possible and not probable.
Of course, you can weight the odds in your favor just by following a few simple steps:
1. You have to come into contact with her somehow, but not in a way that makes it look like you are obsessive about her.
Don't call her on the phone and immediately say, Hey, I hear you are dating someone. She's going to immediately assume that you are going to try and talk bad about him and she will most likely cut the interaction short. And she will also be less likely to want to even talk to you again. Being the obsessive kind of ex-boyfriend is not cute at all to a woman, it's CREEPY. Don't be that guy.
2. Sound positive when the new guy comes up in conversation.
Again, trying to say bad things about him or trying to make him look bad is only going to work against you. It's going to make you seem jealous and probably make her become a little MORE fond of him. Be positive, and just move the conversation OFF of him in a subtle way.
3. Make yourself seem more desirable than the other guy.
Unless she has a rock on her finger, then she probably does have an open mind to some extent. We all do, men and women. So, if you make yourself appear to be more desirable than the new guy she is dating, who do you think she is going to think of? Who do you think that she is going to want to date?
4. Make yourself seem OFF limits.
One of the things that makes most guys fail in their attempts to get back with their ex girlfriend is that they are TOO available. They let her know too often that they are not dating someone else and that they want to get back together. There is something alluring and appealing when you make it seem like you are off limits to your ex-girlfriend. Women too fall for the desire to want what they cannot have and you can make your ex-girlfriend feel this way about YOU!
When your boyfriend dumps you it is painful and embarrassing. It makes you feel unwanted and alone, as well as many other emotions. But, the real reason you are so anxious to get your ex back after he dumps you is because you feel deprived of him. You feel you may have lost him for good. It is human nature to fight tooth and nail to get back something that is taken from you. That is why women fight a purse snatcher so hard, they do not want something taken from them. If the purse snatcher does get the purse away from you, your instinct is to chase him. But if you do, you could end up getting hurt really bad in the fight that would ensue.
It is no different when your boyfriend dumps you. He has taken something from you and you have the instinct to chase him. But again if you chase him you will be hurt again. To get your ex back fast after he dumps you, you have to fight your natural instinct to chase him crying and begging him to come back. When you chase your ex boyfriend, you are doing exactly what he expected. He knows you still love him and you will do anything to get him back. But, if you do the opposite of what he expects, he will be the one confused and desperate. So instead of chasing him, you need to ignore him and disappear for a while.
When you do not do as he expected and chase him, he will start to wonder if he made a mistake by breaking up with you. His emotions will be aroused and he will wonder if you still care for him. Thoughts of you will fill his mind and he will have to find out what is going on in your life. This will make him attempt to contact you. He may send an email to see how quick you will answer it. If you answer right away he will know that he is still in control and can take his time getting back with you. Do not answer his email.
This will force him to call, but let him leave a message. Not being able to contact you will make him desperate. But do not carry it too far. After about a week of letting him send emails and leaving phone messages, call him back. Tell him you see that he has been trying to contact you but you have been too busy to call him back. Now that you have control, be sure to keep it. He will probably want to meet you for coffee or lunch and talk think over. Agree that you need to talk, but say now is not a good time. Tell him you will call him back in a few days to arrange a time and place. This keeps him chasing you, and once he gets you back, he will not be dumping you again.